Artists.....we all know what artists are right? We are an art community after all. The dictionary defines an artist as " a person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria." So there you have it! Now that we are sure we know what an artist is let us move on to what makes an artist "tick". The answer would probabilly be "art makes an artist tick", right? Well you would only be half right.
There is one more thing that makes an artist react and that is "the way other people react to his/her art and person". Sure you may say "i don't care what people say". My answer would be "yeah right...tell that to your grandma". 99.99% of people actually care what others think about them eventhough admitting it is a big "no no". Since we tend to agree that what people do and say affects us let us move on to what affects an artist especially a deviant artist.
1. Art theft
If you wanna make an artist very very happy all you need to do is steal his/her art, add your own touch to it-optional- (generally adding your own touch to it means making it crappy, adding glitter, changing colors and just messing around in a bad way with it) and then submit it to your own gallery or site and being very proud of it too. That is bound to work. If by chance you ripp off a very emotionally stable artist who won't go crazy ,with joy of course, at first sight of his/her butchered art the next step to take is what i call "adopting the peacock attitude". That is a hit in 100% of cases. It is very easy. All you need to do is be very offended that the artist DARED to ask you to remove HIS art from YOUR gallery and be very upset that he doesn't appreciate your artistic effort to butcher , i mean edit for the better, his work. To take it to the next level is to say something like "it's your fault i stole your work! you should have never put it on the web....putting your art on the web makes it public property so nah!". Of course such actions might lead to legal conflict of physical damage- breath taling hugs of course ( done by the artist to you of course)
2. Asking for free stuff
I mean what the heck. We're artist. We don't have lives, we don't have bills to pay, we don't have kids to feed or pay rents or buy food. We just sit on our parents' couch and CREAT! So sure......asking for free art work is just peachy for us. Like i said..it's not like we have anything better to do but to fulfill your every wish and comand when it comes to art. Fuck the bills, fuck the kids, fuck the rent, fuck eating. Our art will keep us going! We shall live on air and our art will keep us warm in the cold cold winter just so you can have a free piece of art work which you will probabilly just toss in a corner somewhever and forget about it. But that is just fine! Now you have a reason to ask for more free stuff! Oh joy of joys! We live to serve.
3. Insightful critiques
I've always said that an artist is most happy when he gets very insightful critiques on his work-example: " i don't like your stuff" - "why not?"- "just because". Such comments are always so refreshing they just wanna make you shout - with joy of course. Another thing i've always said is that the best critiques come from talentless people, i mean people who are full of wondeful , inovating ideas but who have the unfortunet inability to actually put them on paper so they chanel it through you with their critiques. Who better to tell you that the worked you have killed yourself over , in which you have poured your soul.....SUCKS than a person who couldn't draw a streight line to save his life? Need i say more?
4. Multicultural comments
So.....who likes foreign languages? Everybody of course! DUH!. It is every artist's dream to come across comments that are written in the new wonderful foreign language know as "ignorantteenagerbable". This is a very complex language and it takes years of training to learn it. It was made by teenagers for teenager. It is something very interesting- here is how it works: you take a language, any language in the world, and then you make it as mixed up as possible while sprinckling along words from othervery used languages like english (zomg, lol, lolz etc) and more and more often japanese (kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!). And there you have it! If a comment takes more than 10 minutes to read you can be sure you are facing this new and wonderful language known as "ignorantteenagerbable". And even though i am sure you would all love to stay and try to translate it into a normal language since we surely have nothing better to do with our lives ( see point 2) it is generally recomanded to ask for a translater ^^.
5. Devoted fans
Lets be honest now....what artist doesn't dream of having fans. And not just any type of fans...but very very very veeeeeeeeeeeery devoted fans, the type of fans that will send you hundrets of e-mails a day asking you stuff that has nothing to do with art, fans that will stalk your every move, fans that will treat your personal opinion as a FACT, fans that will fall in love with you even though they have never met you or even seen your face, fans that copy your work and then dedicated back to you as a sign of appreciation, fans that will quote you when they talk ( hopefully not in "ignorantteenagerbable"). Lets face it! We ALL want it!